Deconstruction and Therapy

I think a lot of different people relate to the concept of deconstructing. Maybe it’s ok for deconstruction to mean something different to different people. I really like using this term to describe my niche as a therapist because it encompasses so much. I work with clients in Texas who are unpacking their past (experiences, beliefs, values) and reorganizing to live in deeper alignment with what they feel is true, authentic and liberating for them. I don’t see deconstruction as just relating to religion or christianity, though often it does— many of my clients have gone through a faith transition or experienced religious trauma. I wrote a post especially on that subject which you can find here. But, I think deconstruction applies to more than that, so today I want to talk about deconstruction in more general terms.

Deconstructing Ideas and Systems

On a mental level, people can deconstruct concepts like political issues, how systems work or how they could work better. We can deconstruct history. We can reexamine constructs like white supremacy, misogyny, unchecked capitalism, patriarchy, and re-imagine how life could look if systems and patterns shifted. We can re-imagine things like healthcare in our country, or transportation, or energy. You name it, a person’s perspective and understanding on that topic can shift. I think deconstruction happens anytime we are able to live mindfully, make observations, learn, and the new information leads to small or big changes in perspective.

Intrapersonal Deconstruction

The same kind of process can happen inside of a person. Deconstruction is not just cognitive, it can be emotional too. A person who has been through complex trauma can deconstruct what was once normalized (growing up around conflict, or going without attention, acceptance, or love) and re-imagine what is possible for them. They might adjust their standards of what they deserve from others. They might shift in the way they relate to a memory or a person from their past. They can deconstruct how they relate to themselves, or their bodies. People can deconstruct their family norms and expectations. People can deconstruct notions about their sexuality and/or their identity, to come into deeper alignment with who they truly are. Deconstruction for some people looks like freedom from hetero-normative, cisgender restrictions. And sometimes people just change over time. We aren’t just static. People change over time because time changes us. Literally and figuratively, we change in our physical matter and in our experience of being in the world. Change is inevitable.

Deconstruction = Rebuilding

I think that all therapy, not just my niche, is deeply related to the process of deconstruction. It simply means rebuilding. Reorganizing. Regrouping. This is the kind of stuff that excites me most as a therapist. Not so much teaching skills or sharing psycho-education, but accompanying people in their own drive to rebuild and integrate a more authentic life for themselves. I think each person has that inner driving force. Sometimes there are “big” moments where this happens, but I think the smaller, gradual bits are crucial too. We rebuild every single day, when given the support needed to do so. And then all the little bits add up to create significant, noticeable change. Contact me if you live in Texas and you’d like to learn more about exploring this in counseling.

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Anger and Healing

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Parents Who Don’t See Past Themselves